Why do people choose adoption?
Each birthparent who chooses to place a child with an adoptive family does so for many different reasons. A single mother may want her baby to have two parents. A Birthparent may feel they're too young, don't have enough money to properly raise a child, or they wish to complete their education or start a career. Sometimes a baby is born with medical problems that the birthparents are overwhelmed by financially and sometimes Birthparents who already have children feel they just are unable to adequately care for another. Back To Top
What if my family and friends are critical about my choice of adoption?
There have been thousands of successful adoptions, but some people have difficulty understanding the idea that someone would ever "give up their own flesh and blood." You and your counselor may be able to explain why you need to consider every option in order to make a good plan for your child. If your family or friends are unable to accept that, remember this is your decision and no one elses. Adoption is a loving choice, and it may be the right choice for you and your baby. Adoption may be the most difficult decision you ever have to make, but it is definitely the most UNSELFISH decision you will ever make! You have to put your baby's needs before your own! Back To Top
Am I able to receive any financial help from SEF during my pregnancy?
If you need financial assistance, SEF adoptive families can help with your medical care, living expenses, or other costs related to the pregnancy. SEF will also help you apply for any public assistance or insurance benefits to which you are entitled. Back To Top
Can I be involved in choosing the adopting family for my baby?
ABSOLUTELY! You can be as involved as you want to be. We encourage you to select your baby's adoptive parents from profile descriptions. If you'd like, you can meet the couple ahead of time, you can have them them at the hospital during delivery, you can be the one to hand them the baby at the hospital or you can make your selection without meeting the family at all. You have these choices through what we call "open adoption," and you decide how "open" the adoption of your child will be. Back To Top
How can I be sure my baby will be placed with a good family?
At SEF, we get to know a couple very well before we approve them to be on our list as adoptive parents. We want you to know that they have a solid marriage and are financially responsible. We discuss their reasons for wanting to adopt, and we get to know their interests, their lifestyle, and their medical history. We even get a fingerprint check and request FBI records to verify that they have no record of criminal activity or child abuse. We provide workshops on adoption, CPR classes and parenting classes which they are required to attend. Back To Top
What if I want to place my child with a family I already know? Can I still come to SEF?
Yes, we can work with you and the adoptive family you've already chosen. We will evaluate the couple as we would any other and you will get the assurance that the family is screened and prepared before the adoption. Back To Top
I'm having a hard time with my own feelings, especially when I think about giving up my baby - sad and scared both. Do other mothers feel that way?
Yes - Always. We don't think you would be human without these feelings. If you wish, we can set up an appointment for you to meet another Birthmother who has placed her child for adoption.
Important decisions are often hard decisions. But when you look first at what's best for your child, and THEN what's best for you, it will help you clear away the confusion and make the right decisions. Adoption is the most unselfish decision you could make for your child. In adoption your child's happiness and welfare comes first - As a Birthmother your pain and grief should come second. Back To Top
If I do place my baby for adoption, will the sad feelings ever go away?
You'll never forget your child - we wouldn't want you to. You will always be a mother and there may at times be some sadness, but knowing you've given your baby the best possible start in life, with the love and security of a good family, will make you feel better. Counseling with the understanding staff at SEF can also be beneficial in difficult times. Back To Top
If I choose adoption, when is my decision final?
Once you decide to make an adoption plan for your baby and join the SEF Maternity Program, it's a good idea to think about your plans as early as possible, especially if you'd like your baby to go home with the adoptive family directly from the hospital. The Birthfather may sign his papers at any time before the baby is born at which time his decision is irrevocable. Under Louisiana law, you will sign the necessary papers six days after the baby is born. Your decision is permanent at that time. Your baby will legally become a loved member of the adoptive parent's family and will begin a lifetime relationship with them. You've made this decision. You've chosen a couple, you've made and kept your commitment to them - now let them keep their commitment to you and this child. Back To Top
After the adoption, can I know how my baby's getting along?
You and the adoptive family may agree to stay in touch, and send information through SEF. We'll pass along photographs, letters and video tapes from the adoptive parents, and we'll send them whatever you wish to share about your life. They will send you pictures and updated letters for years to come and they wish for you to do the same. Back To Top
What will my child be told about me and about the adoption?
The couple who adopts your child will be given information about your background, family and medical history, interests and hobbies - what you are like as a person and the reasons why you decided on adoption as the best choice for your child. In our adoption workshops, the parents will learn how and when to share this information and how to answer your child's questions about you. Also, you can put together other things you'd like your baby to have, now or later: scrapbooks of you and your family, photographs, letters, gifts - whatever you choose to include. If you wish, the child will know your name and be told his/her adoption story time and time again. Back To Top
If you'd like to know more, please call the St. Elizabeth Foundation office and ask for more information about birthparent services. Anyone who answers the phone can assist you and will be more than willing to assist you with your option for adoption.